SaumyaRants

 "What do you think the best day of your life is?" " I don't know, it probably hasn't happened yet, and it's going to be pretty exciting."                                                                                                       - A child on the streets of New York when asked by a reporter, paraphrased by my memory, and laziness to check the actual quote. I'm pretty sure a few of those days just happened a few days ago. 23rd and 24th December. Much to my surprise, there was a havan happening for Christmas Puja. I had a Math test the next day. Scared at first, my wisdom got the better of me. I had been longing to go, like millions of others, to go to a Seminar, International or National Puja, to feel the cool breeze flowing not only throughout your hands and head, but your whole body. Being surrounded by the hospitable environment and Divine Energy. Covid-19, however, had better plans. It is a feeling that only a sahajayogi can understand

Every year, every month, every week, every day, every second, we make decisions. How big of an impact those decisions make are out of our control, and that is both beautiful and terrifying. It is not a rare occurrence to think how intertwined this world's lives are. You would have had a complete different social circle for your formative years had your parents not chosen that school. Maybe you wouldn't have even made a friend unless you forgot a pencil that day and had to borrow one. Maybe you wouldn't have discovered your favourite artist if the Youtube Algorithm had not chosen them for you. Maybe you still have that habit you picked up from your childhood best friend a decade ago. I wouldn't have discovered Doctor Who if I didn't decide to channel surf that one particular day. What I'm trying to say with all this rambling is, I find it fascinating and amazing how life is such a complicated mess. We are all a mosaic of everyone else's lives. Some people cal

 Everyone has a thing which constituted the majority of their childhood. As an only child born in the mid 2000's who had access to the internet, that thing for me was flash games. Any game you see a kid playing on the internet was probably a flash game. Flipline Studios, GirlsGoGames, RoundGames, Kongregate and Agame.com were my most frequented websites on the internet. Before you classify me as a couch potato hikkokomori kind of person,  I would like you to remind you that with these games us children bonded, laughed, named characters, and even made game jingles together. The internet was our hangout spot. Why Goodbye, you may ask? Well, this December, Adobe Flash, the software that most of these games ran on, will be discontinued. It was the first thing that happened in this world that told me my childhood had ended. It was emotional, and gut-wrenching, but life goes on. There are some things you can download in which you can play most of these games, but still, it was an end. &

Couldn't post last week, hence two posts. BTS, in their song Idol , have explored the idea of one person's being being constituted by many people. That is, one person having many different aspects to them, having three dimensional personalities, rather than just being the person we know them as. A human being consists of many people, all masquerading as one person. This was particularly note-worthy to me since I always used to make, or divide, different versions of me to make different characters in playing pretend when I was younger. So, here are some of them. Cute Saumya Naive and innocent, this version of me seems to be the most common perception of me. She has no ulterior motives, and is always curious like a child.   Intellectual Saumya Oh Jeez I need this person to come back in my life more often now. Diligent and hardworking, she is always very keen on trying her best. She is what gets me my grades. Edgy Saumya This version of me was born when I joined my school van. Su

 With Christmas nearing, the thought of gifts from your parents, or, quite literally everything you own before you get a job, came to my mind. 2015, I am in Spencer's market. (It is a hypermarket near Bhootnath.)  "Mummy, how much can I buy something for me for?" "Oh IDK, like a 100 or something." Lo and behold, began the search of a 9-year-old girl for something in the stationary section for something under ₹100. I ended up buying a purple gluestick. That amount, a hundred rupees, stuck with me. Even though it has been five years since then, I still feel guilty asking for something which costs more than a hundred rupees. Not that my parents ever enforced that, this feeling just sort of, spontaneously internalized in me. The same year, my mother introduced the idea of giving me something, however small, every month, preferably the 19th, since my birthday is on 19th July. Sort of like a monthly birthday. As a result of my parents' persistence, I have always g