SaumyaRants

I look back and I go to when I was eight I used to look up to my seniors and think they were great They were so hard working, had it all figured out But now I'm that age and I'm just filled with doubt When I was younger everything used to be black and white But now everything is jut hues of grey Everyone seems to think that my future is bright And I don't know what to say I finally understand how quickly time flies I feel so lost, don't know what to do in life Everyone else seems to have it all figured out And I am the only one who is left out But I realized now that it is not all bad In the end, everything is gonna be all right As long as I stay happy and keep working hard What everyone else thinks will lose its might And I will only live for myself Be content with what I have After all, when everyone else has left I will be all that I have

 'mono.' is an album made by RM or Kim Namjoon in 2018. He has been mentioned in my blog before, as the author of one of my favourite speeches and a commendable leader of the group who are one of my favourite musicians. He is also my mom's favourite in BTS for some reason? She just gets good vibes from him I guess, which is true for me too. He has an IQ of 148, is fluent in three languages, has shown considerable growth in his personal life, is thougthful and poetic and was in the top 0.1% in the Suneung exam, which is South Korea's College Entrance Examination. He is also called "God of Destruction" by his fans because of his well-known clumsiness. He was active in the underground hip hop scene before being chosen as the first member of BTS. He started writing at lyrics at the age of 11, and has hid first concert at the age of 14.  Enough about the musician, more about the album. The general feel of this album is like a friend sitting beside you, whose should...

Northern India. Early 1940's. A young girl enters a Government school of a small town in Eastern U.P,Ghazipur. She, along with her sisters, is one of the only girls to do so in the surrounding area. This is because in a path-breaking act, a teacher of that school chose to enroll his daughters into it, since, on paper, there was no rule saying it was just for boys. Other parents follow suit. A few years later, he also chooses to send his daughters out of station for further education. The first woman in the family to graduate from an educational institution in Lucknow, was my grandmother. This is the story of Shree Girija Dayal Singh.  The aforementioned act, to be of such futuristic thinking, was quite rare among people of those times. His feminism, however, wasn't limited to his daughters. In a time where women were told to stay behind closed doors and a piece of cloth (purdah), he used get his wife dressed up in shoes and take her outside on morning walks. Because of how fair...

 Whenever I study a subject that a teacher passionate about teaching taught me, I feel an innate desire to learn that subject. Whenever I listen to songs written, composed, and produced by J-hope, arguably the best dancer in BTS, I suddenly want to dance. The same with and rapping and singing at times for other members too. Programming with my father is a hundred times more fun than normal. Watching an artist draw makes me want open my sketchbook too. Watching a study with me video by a dedicated medical student makes me want to be a topper. Doing balshakti work with my mother makes me want to do that when I grow up too. As you may know by my last post, I do not have set passion, and I have often felt sad about it. But I am certainly a sponge for other peoples'. And I find that beautiful.

The feeling of passion isn't as crystal clear as happiness or sadness. Some people say that it's when your heart starts racing and you get excited for doing something. Some say it's the desire to achieve excellence and be diligent. Most people, according to society, have a passion. For them it usually turns into their job or hobby. For my dad it's programming and reading. For my mom it is Balshakti work and gardening. I, on the other hand have always felt..passionless. I may spend hours doing something and definitely like doing it, and even have the desire to be excellent in it, but it never felt like it was my passion. I always felt a tinge of melancholy because of this. I even had a privilege of having parents who did not impose their unfulfilled dreams on me, because they had none. As a result, I didn't even have any passions imposed on me. Some may say that I'm too young. Maybe they're right.  A couple years ago I started getting worried about this. I do...

 "What do you think the best day of your life is?" " I don't know, it probably hasn't happened yet, and it's going to be pretty exciting."                                                                                                       - A child on the streets of New York when asked by a reporter, paraphrased by my memory, and laziness to check the actual quote. I'm pretty sure a few of those days just happened a few days ago. 23rd and 24th December. Much to my surprise, there was ...

Every year, every month, every week, every day, every second, we make decisions. How big of an impact those decisions make are out of our control, and that is both beautiful and terrifying. It is not a rare occurrence to think how intertwined this world's lives are. You would have had a complete different social circle for your formative years had your parents not chosen that school. Maybe you wouldn't have even made a friend unless you forgot a pencil that day and had to borrow one. Maybe you wouldn't have discovered your favourite artist if the Youtube Algorithm had not chosen them for you. Maybe you still have that habit you picked up from your childhood best friend a decade ago. I wouldn't have discovered Doctor Who if I didn't decide to channel surf that one particular day. What I'm trying to say with all this rambling is, I find it fascinating and amazing how life is such a complicated mess. We are all a mosaic of everyone else's lives. Some people cal...