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Passion

The feeling of passion isn't as crystal clear as happiness or sadness. Some people say that it's when your heart starts racing and you get excited for doing something. Some say it's the desire to achieve excellence and be diligent. Most people, according to society, have a passion. For them it usually turns into their job or hobby.

For my dad it's programming and reading. For my mom it is Balshakti work and gardening.

I, on the other hand have always felt..passionless. I may spend hours doing something and definitely like doing it, and even have the desire to be excellent in it, but it never felt like it was my passion. I always felt a tinge of melancholy because of this. I even had a privilege of having parents who did not impose their unfulfilled dreams on me, because they had none. As a result, I didn't even have any passions imposed on me. Some may say that I'm too young. Maybe they're right. 

A couple years ago I started getting worried about this. I don't like doing anything? what the heck? Fortunately, a quick car ride discussion with my father ended that dilemma. 

In situations like these, it's songs like Black Swan and Paradise which comfort me. At least I will never fear losing my passion, and I should not chase my life around something  that doesn't exist.

As I mentioned before, I still like doing things though. I also liked studying. Recently, however, I feel like it's not as fun as it used to be anymore. Maybe it is online school. Maybe..something else. I still have to do it for hours long hours though, and sometimes I hated doing it. But I still continued. 

It felt like the "passion" I had studying was lost. One could argue on the contrary however, that me continuing was passion. And that..makes me happy. :D

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