Skip to main content

Passion

The feeling of passion isn't as crystal clear as happiness or sadness. Some people say that it's when your heart starts racing and you get excited for doing something. Some say it's the desire to achieve excellence and be diligent. Most people, according to society, have a passion. For them it usually turns into their job or hobby.

For my dad it's programming and reading. For my mom it is Balshakti work and gardening.

I, on the other hand have always felt..passionless. I may spend hours doing something and definitely like doing it, and even have the desire to be excellent in it, but it never felt like it was my passion. I always felt a tinge of melancholy because of this. I even had a privilege of having parents who did not impose their unfulfilled dreams on me, because they had none. As a result, I didn't even have any passions imposed on me. Some may say that I'm too young. Maybe they're right. 

A couple years ago I started getting worried about this. I don't like doing anything? what the heck? Fortunately, a quick car ride discussion with my father ended that dilemma. 

In situations like these, it's songs like Black Swan and Paradise which comfort me. At least I will never fear losing my passion, and I should not chase my life around something  that doesn't exist.

As I mentioned before, I still like doing things though. I also liked studying. Recently, however, I feel like it's not as fun as it used to be anymore. Maybe it is online school. Maybe..something else. I still have to do it for hours long hours though, and sometimes I hated doing it. But I still continued. 

It felt like the "passion" I had studying was lost. One could argue on the contrary however, that me continuing was passion. And that..makes me happy. :D

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Babaji

 In this post I'm going to recount a few fond memories with my paternal grandfather, Babaji. Most of these are of the time when he used to pick me up from school for a few months in fourth grade. He used to pick me up from the front field of our school and we walked back to the car, often holding hands. I often found a small stone to kick along the way. In the car, there would be always waiting for me a pillow and a bottle of cold water. It felt no less than luxury. He asked me eagerly what I learned in school. I remember one time I told him I had learned a new word- unique. He asked me what it's meaning was and I said different. But that's not an exact synonym, and he explained the nuance in the different meaning of the two words. I remember, earlier he had explained to me the same way how the Hindi words बाल and केश differed from each other. Since he used to pick me up from the field, where a lot of my classmates were waiting to be picked up too, I often asked them how ol...
1 comment
Read more

I look back to when I was eight

I look back and I go to when I was eight I used to look up to my seniors and think they were great They were so hard working, had it all figured out But now I'm that age and I'm just filled with doubt When I was younger everything used to be black and white But now everything is jut hues of grey Everyone seems to think that my future is bright And I don't know what to say I finally understand how quickly time flies I feel so lost, don't know what to do in life Everyone else seems to have it all figured out And I am the only one who is left out But I realized now that it is not all bad In the end, everything is gonna be all right As long as I stay happy and keep working hard What everyone else thinks will lose its might And I will only live for myself Be content with what I have After all, when everyone else has left I will be all that I have
13 comments
Read more

Shimla

 I ditched my school farewell to go on a trip to Shimla with my mom and her friends. I don't regret it one bit.  I have spoken before about how I'm not particularly attached to my school in The End of School Life . So missing my farewell was not that big of a deal for me. Shimla was spectacular and the trip of a lifetime. Shimla is known for being beautiful. It is straight out of a fairytale. The mountains, the roads, the shops, all are very remarkable and unique.  The mountainous streets were very tiring and new to us plain dwelling creatures. There is an absence of autos in the roads of Shimla and instead there are only buses which were no less than a roller coaster for me, with the meandering roads which also decrease and increase in elevation. During the night the mountains, with their lights look like a grand tapestry. I bought a bubbles toy which made huge bubbles- bigger than I had ever seen before. The sellers blowed them on the street which made the already surre...
1 comment
Read more